It still amazes how often domestic abuse happens. The statistic is currently that 1 in 3 women will be affected by domestic abuse within their lifetime. 1 in 3! Think of your 2 closest friends, one of you are likely to experience to domestic violence! This is absolutely terrifying to me!
Ever since Shannon passed away and I started sharing her story, more and more people are coming to me telling me there stories. I just can't believe how many people have gone through domestic violence; people I've known, people withing my circle of my friends. I have heard the statistics a million times, I have written the statistics a million times but until you start hearing the stories, you don't get the full effect of how frequently this occurs.
I want to share some trends that I have noticed within every person's story.
1) It typically starts with manipulation and control, but is hardly noticble.
2) The person being abused doesn't even notice it's happening until they are too invested in the relationship.
3) The relationship typically starts out as a whirlwind romance.
4) The relationship moves at an accelerated pace.
5) No matter the type of abuse, emotional, physical, financial control, interpersonal control, manipulation, belittling and humiliation, the abused is scarred so deeply it is hard to know how to react.
6) Isolation becomes the new "normal."
7) Emotions commonly expressed by the abused: embarrassment, fear, shame, guilt, defensiveness, resentment.
8) These emotions follow the abused into future relationships
9) Once the person gets the strength to talk about what's happened, a sense of empowerment overtakes these emotions. These emotions are still there, but healing can slowly begin.
I'm sure there are more trends, but for now, these are the ones that have been most noticeable to me. I can't imagine sitting by and letting these trends continue in the ones I love. It breaks my heart with every story I hear that someone has to go through this; but, I have empathy for them because I too was once in an abusive relationship and had all of these characteristics in my relationship.
As this blog continues, I look forward to sharing others' stories and offer a chance for the abused to feel empowered by talking about their experience. I hope this can be an outlet for those who want to share, to gain some healing and offer support to others who may be going through a similar situation. If you have interest in sharing your story, please contact me.
Remember, it starts with knowing you deserve better.
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