What is VAWA?

You may have heard about VAWA in the news lately, but what is VAWA and how can it help?

VAWA is the Violence Against Women Act. Originally, it was created to provide resources for investigation and prosecution of violent crimes against women. Since it was created, the act has been expanded to include stalking and dating violence. This act has offered many grants that fund services victims desperately need.

Here are some of the accomplishments of the original act (as reported by thehotline.org):

• Creating new system responses – VAWA programs, funding and law reforms have changed federal, tribal, state and local responses to domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault and stalking by:
• Securing buy-in from formerly unengaged systems, like law enforcement, courts, and social services
• Creating a federal leadership role that has encouraged tribes, states and local government to improve responses to victims and perpetrators
• Establishing new federal crimes of domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking to fill in jurisdictional gaps in prosecuting these crimes
• Defining the crimes of domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault and stalking, as well as identifying promising practices to respond to these crimes
• Focusing on the needs of underserved communities, such as immigrant and Native American women

Seeing how this act can help those affected by domestic violence, it is hard to understand why reauthorization has been a debate, but it has been! Many of the issues that cause disagreement is extending the act to same-sex couples and undocumented immigrants. Now, no matter your views on those two topics, doesn't everyone deserve protection from possible death? 

VAWA passed in the Senate today! Next, the act has to go to the House, and then to the President. Expansion of this will reach same-sex couples and immigrants, Native Americans, victims on college campuses, and communities of color. Hopeful improvements will be providing additional support to the services and facilities that offer assistance to victims and stronger housing/shelter options for victims. 

It is so important that this act is reauthorized and expanded! Today was the first step, the Senate passed it and we hope to see it continue into the House. 

If you're not sure on why VAWA is so important, please take the time to listen to this story. I have never heard domestic violence explained so well before. It is touching, heart breaking, and chilling.

If you would like additional information on VAWA, check out one of the following links:

The Hotline provides the progression of VAWA through each reauthorization and, I believe, show why each time reauthorization occurs, it only gets better.
NNEDVdiscusses the current status of VAWA and updates with new legislation.

The shocking truth

It still amazes how often domestic abuse happens. The statistic is currently that 1 in 3 women will be affected by domestic abuse within their lifetime. 1 in 3! Think of your 2 closest friends, one of you are likely to experience to domestic violence! This is absolutely terrifying to me! 

Ever since Shannon passed away and I started sharing her story, more and more people are coming to me telling me there stories. I just can't believe how many people have gone through domestic violence; people I've known, people withing my circle of my friends.  I have heard the statistics a million times, I have written the statistics a million times but until you start hearing the stories, you don't get the full effect of how frequently this occurs. 

I want to share some trends that I have noticed within every person's story.

1) It typically starts with manipulation and control, but is hardly noticble.

2) The person being abused doesn't even notice it's happening until they are too invested in the relationship.

3) The relationship typically starts out as a whirlwind romance.

4) The relationship moves at an accelerated pace.

5) No matter the type of abuse, emotional, physical, financial control, interpersonal control, manipulation, belittling and humiliation, the abused is scarred so deeply it is hard to know how to react.

6) Isolation becomes the new "normal."

7) Emotions commonly expressed by the abused: embarrassment, fear, shame, guilt, defensiveness, resentment.

8) These emotions follow the abused into future relationships

9) Once the person gets the strength to talk about what's happened, a sense of empowerment overtakes these emotions. These emotions are still there, but healing can slowly begin.

I'm sure there are more trends, but for now, these are the ones that have been most noticeable to me. I can't imagine sitting by and letting these trends continue in the ones I love. It breaks my heart with every story I hear that someone has to go through this; but, I have empathy for them because I too was once in an abusive relationship and had all of these characteristics in my relationship. 

As this blog continues, I look forward to sharing others' stories and offer a chance for the abused to feel empowered by talking about their experience. I hope this can be an outlet for those who want to share, to gain some healing and offer support to others who may be going through a similar situation. If you have interest in sharing your story, please contact me.

Remember, it starts with knowing you deserve better.