Disproving Stereotypes

There are a lot of common stereotypes surrounding domestic violence. You know the phrase "it could never happen to me or someone I know?" This is perpetuated by these stereotypes. Many times we don't think that our intimate partners could ever hurt us. Then one day we realize we are in the middle of an abusive relationship and shame and guilt prevent us from getting the help we need. This could also happen in your friend's relationships even though they seem "perfect."

Some of the stereotypes we need to be sure to educate against are:

1) Domestic violence only occurs in low income homes
         Domestic violence doesn't discriminate. It occurs in all socioeconomic status levels regardless of race or background. However, status has been associated with how one reacts to domestic violence. Those with a higher socioeconomic status tend to keep it more private, seeking help from doctors, therapists, lawyers, etc. While those who have fewer financial resources tend to call the police or local agencies. The majority of statistics you hear about come from these agencies and this causes a distorted image of the problem.

2) Domestic violence only happens to a small percentage of the population
         Domestic violence occurs in about 1/4 to 1/3 of all intimate relationships, including heterosexual and same-sex relationships. This is a staggering statistic! According to NCADV, 1 in every 4 women will experience domestic violence in their life time!

3) Domestic violence is a by-product of alcohol and drug use
         Many people who have drug and alcohol abuse problems are not batterers and many batterers don't have drug and alcohol abuse problems. However, it is often easier to blame a drug or alcohol rather than admit a partner is violent. This does not mean that the partner is not abusive when sober. This is part of coming to terms with what's going on. We need to realize being under the influence is not an excuse. 

4) Domestic violence is about the "loss of control" from the abuser
         Many people believe that the abuse becomes abusive when they "lose control" of their emotions.  This is not the case! Violent behavior is a conscious choice. The abuser knows exactly what they are doing when they are abusive. It's about utilizing their control over the victim, not losing it. Abuse is deliberate manipulation that the abuse is well aware of. 

Let's educate ourselves and those around us about these myths and realize that domestic violence can happen to anyone! 

For more myths about domestic violence, check out these links:
http://www.bu.edu/police/prevention/domestic_violence_myth.htm

http://www.turningpointservices.org/Domestic%20Violence%20-%20Myths%20and%20Facts.htm

http://www.clarkprosecutor.org/html/domviol/myths.htm