A painful journey

Today my best friend would have been 27 years old. I still celebrate her life even though on June 5, 2011 her life was taken by the hands of someone who “loved” her.  Even the most basic, stripped down version of love cannot comprehend hurting the person you say you love.  Shannon was a wonderful person who cared only for others and put herself last. Her family, kids, and friends were always her priority. That was true love. Birthdays, anniversaries, and major life events are all still so hard to deal with when they come.  It’s not fair that she and we must suffer because of the selfish act of someone else. But the purpose of this blog is to share her story and to eventually make sure no one else has to experience what Shannon went through.

It’s still so hard to believe she is no longer here. We spent so much time together, had so many memories, so many laughs. It seems I discover something new around my house or car or somewhere at least weekly from our time together. I cherish these mementos.

A few pictures from the past...

 

One thing I can say for sure is that our experience with losing Shannon has given me more empathy than I ever though imaginable for others going through something similar.  For those of you who are in the healing process, or those of you who are experiencing violence, please know that you’re not alone. There is a whole community that is ready and willing to be there for you. To get a little personal, I remember feeling that there was no way the pain would get easier, I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak. I felt like the world I knew was crumbling, like I was losing my mind. I couldn’t concentrate; I barely remember the healing process. I feel there are a couple months in there that I’m missing from my memory. I went into survival mode, I think, walking around and doing my routine but not realizing it.  I felt so alone, like no one could understand how I felt like I was going crazy, screaming on the inside with grief. I’m here to tell you that this is normal! The word I was dying to hear at the time…normal. What I was feeling was normal.

No one should have to feel this way. Let’s make our generation the last to have to deal with the aftermath of domestic violence. It doesn’t have to be this way. But, domestic violence is a community issue and it will take the whole community to stop it. SPEAK UP…IT COULD SAVE A LIFE!

To be a little cliché, think about how 1 Corinthians 13 defines love. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Even if you are not religious, this is the definition of love. Does your relationship fit these guidelines or are you experiencing a love is quick to anger, manipulative, dangerous, and even painful? Are you being put down instead of built up? That is not love.